Lessons from Mom

Moms are amazing and mine is the best. She has been able to teach important lessons to me throughout my life. With Mother's Day approaching I will recount one of those lessons.

I am the oldest of 5 kids and one of four boys. It is natural that the younger kids look up to the oldest (no matter how tyrannical the regime) and want to be involved in whatever activities the oldest is engaged in.

My favorite activity was simulating large World War II scenes that would include hundreds and hundreds of little soldiers being setup on home made landscapes. All it took was one bump of these landscapes to level an entire army. Little bumps are what little brothers are made of and that made my room off limits. The ironic part of this is that I shared a room with my next younger brother. He was allowed to sit in the corner and watch as long as he was silent. I was most benevolent.

One day and several hours into a major campaign there was a knock on the door. I gingerly made my way over and opened the door a hair. There standing silently was my next youngest brother, D. He said nothing, just handed me a note. I read the note which said, “Dear Joel, Please let your brother watch you play soldiers. Love, Mom”

I thought for a moment, and then opened the door all the way. I jerked my head and said “Get on the bunk.”

D carefully made his way to the bunk bed, climbed the ladder and laid flat with chin in hands and watched silently.

No more than five minutes later, another knock came on the door. It was my youngest brother. He stood silently, said nothing, and handed me a note. It read, “Dear Joel, Please let your brother watch you play soldiers. Love, Mom”

I thought for a moment and jerked my head. “Get on the bunk.”

There we were, all four of us, sitting silently in the room, one brother in the corner, two on the bed. Then something happened. My heart began to soften, slightly. As I glanced back and up at my two brothers silently watching me, my heart did something odd. I told Cammer, corner brother, he could move some soldiers if he was careful. He lit up. It was Christmas come early! My heart did it again. What was this feeling? I was no longer Joel the Terrible, but a virtual Kris Kringle doling out boundless love to my subjects. In my new state of caring, I told D and Tay they could speak, just not too much. Love was everywhere. It was a miracle.

I look back on the moment and am still impressed by the way my mom handled the situation. She did not force me to accommodate the ‘bumpers.’ She wisely briefed my brothers on being silent and careful. Then she coined a very polite and respectful note that said it all. I didn't realize I learned a lesson that day, but I had. We do best when we show respect even to those who we deem without heart or reason. Thanks, Mom.